Brady and Gisele: Shotgun Wedding

Terez, they blew my shit up homie....

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen’s armed bodyguards opened fire on paparazzi at the couple’s nuptials in Costa Rica Saturday, blasting out the windows of a photographer’s SUV, and just missing the shaken lensmen, the fotogs claimed in Sunday reports.

Just moments after they talked their way out of an argument with Brady’s irate buddies and hired security, a bullet smashed through the rear window of their SUV and then through the front windshield, just missing the heads of the two fleeing photo journalists on Saturday night, they said.

“Thank God I’m all right. At that moment, I thought I was going to die,” lensman Rolando Aviles told the Post.

“The bullet went between us, missing our heads,” Aviles said. “If the bullet had been a little more to the left or right, it would have killed one of us.

“I said, ‘They’re going to kill us,’ and that’s when I hunched down to cover myself.”

“When the glass broke, that’s when my friend started driving really fast.”

Aviles said he and colleague Yuri Cortez, both veteran photographers hired by the INF photo agency, had permission from Gisele’s neighbor in Santa Teresa to shoot the wedding ceremony from a vista about 300 feet away from the ceremony.

“I have no knowledge of the events being described,” Don Yee, Brady’s agent, told The Associated Press in an e-mail on Sunday night. “Additionally, security personnel have reported they do not have any knowledge of such an event. Given this, I have no other comment.”

New England Patriots quarterback Brady and supermodel Gisele were married in Los Angeles County in February, and were renewing their vows Saturday. Just as the photographers started snapping, the couple’s bodyguards spotted them and chased them, according to Aviles.

The pair ran back to Cortez’s Suzuki  parked about 500 feet away in dense brush.

They split up as they ran away, and by the time Aviles said he reached the SUV, his colleague was already there speaking to a guard.

Aviles quoted the guard as saying, “Tom Brady just wants to talk to you. It’s OK, nothing’s going to happen.”

But Aviles claimed when the photographers accepted the guard’s invitation back to Gisele’s house, they were swarmed by three members of the wedding party and five hired guards dressed all in black.

The photographers lied their way out of the tight spot — saying they hadn’t taken a single frame.

As the lensman drove away, Aviles claimed he spotted one of the guards pull a pistol.

Seconds later, a bullet shattered the back of Cortez’s SUV, struck a front windshield wiper and then bounced back into the cabin, landing in between the terrified shutterbugs, he said.

I thought this was going to be my last job,” Aviles said.

The fotogs said they found a .38-caliber slug in their SUV’s front cabin.

Both cameramen were still in disbelief yesterday that they almost died for snapping wedding photographs.

“I couldn’t believe it when I realized what they had done,” Cortez told the photo agency’s Web site, INF Daily.

“I could have lost my life for the sale of some pictures that Gisele didn’t want published. Are they insane?”

Maybe they shouldn’t have had two weddings? The paparazzi’s pursuit of the perfect picture is getting out of control. Half the blame goes to Gisele and Tom for always drawing attention to themselves.  Tom and Gisele aren’t worth it people. Gisele, call me when you dump that drip..-TO